I love this
"you come here often?"
"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"
"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"
"hey let me buy you a drin-"
"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"
"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"
"SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"
”are you an angel becau-”
”Talos the Mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give Praise! We are but maggots writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.” Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!”
I almost wish I got hit on in shitty ways so I could do this.
(Source: spookysage, via hiswonderlandprince)
Jim Moriarty enjoys seeing Sebastian working his body to the max, but his sniper disappointingly limits this to the gym. Of course, something has to be done.
My namesake, ladies and gentlemen.
We had an impromptu Lokean-party for a friend. She’s new to Loki, but not to paganism and feeling kinda lost, lately. Single malt was drunk, jokes were told, we compared notes on where our various spiritual lives are at and (as always happens with these things) we ended up in the kitchen past midnight doing slightly tipsy divination.
Do not even ask me why I’m better at divination when there’s whisky. Either way, I think it helped.
Also, I think I had her going for all of two seconds when I said it was time for her initiation and the goat was waiting outside, to be tied to her genitalia. It was when I mentioned that the Illuminati weather machine that’d help her do her part in bringing on Ragnarok was in the post, along with her membership card that she cracked up.
I think that of the 11 flights on Flight Rising, people would have probably expected me to go into the Arcane Flight because the Arcanist and woo magix and knowledge and curiosity and that those are things associated with Beaky. But instead I went into the Shadow Flight because the Shadowbinder is…
Shadow flight dirty tricksy types, unite!
I just like cheating gits, that’s pretty much why I went for Shadow. And y’know, every character I’ve ever loved, nearly every deity I honour… There’s a pattern. Dirty cheaters, one and all.
Plus, purpfle eyed babies sacrificed, er.. I mean *exalted*, (totally not nommed on like delicious delicious candy by a godlike being) in the name of the Shadowbinder!
Damn, it feels good to be biotic.
I’ve decided my true calling is to become a Spirit Worker, Guys.
They speak to me on a level the living can’t.
The only spirits I can hear directly.
Can we call bartenders ‘spirit workers’ now?
I’m sorry, but I really do have to go. I’ve got urgent work with some single malt and it will not take no for an answer.
A penguin of the week with a little gift for you each day~ Start off the week with some penguin positivity! :D
Saying that a man and a woman can’t be “just” friends is like assuming that a bisexual or pansexual can’t have any friends at all because they might get a sudden urge to fuck them.
You’ve found out my secret.
I just want to bang everybody all the time.
Bruce Wayne watched both of his parents die.
Tony Stark has heart problems and anxiety.
Peter Parker saw his uncle being murdered.
Steve Rogers lost his best friend.
Bruce Banner attempted suicide.
If they can save the world, you can get through this day.
Never stop fighting.
And don’t ever think that the stuff that you do to get through the bad days is stupid or worthless. Wonder Woman thinks the Pokemon card game is a game for warriors. I can’t even imagine what she thinks of the strategic value of cat gifs.
what if you could meet your celebrity crush but the cost was them knowing everything you’ve ever said about them in your tumblr tags
I volunteer as tribute.